The husband and I have been together since dinosaurs roamed the Earth, also known as 2001, and we’re coming up on a dating anniversary at the end of the month. When you’ve been in a long term relationship you think you’ve seen all of each others’ moves. Enter baby, and it’s a whole new ballgame. I’m in a silly, listicle kind of mood tonight so listen up, partners with children. Here are some seriously sexy moves you can employ in your household. You know, to keep the romance alive.
- Voluntarily take the toddler with you when you run an errand.
- Run out to get ice cream when your partner mentions they’re craving it, even if they haven’t been pregnant in a year and a half (or longer).
- Hunt down that giant spider cricket she swears she saw in the baby’s room without making her feel weird for invoking stereotypical gender roles.
- Get on the same page when it comes to “date night.” Perhaps a quickie and some conversation as soon as the baby goes to bed followed by binge watching The X-Files on Netflix and consuming junk food you wouldn’t want your daughter to eat. Just a random suggestion.
- Tell your partner their post-baby neuroses are “cute” and “entertaining.” Even if you don’t mean it, lying is just as good.
- Make up little games with the kid when you’re with them all day and excitedly show your partner when they get home.
- Send helpful and/or ridiculous text messages throughout the day. Exhibit A, B, and C.
- Find time to talk about politics, stupid internet memes, and baseball in between stories about your kid and deciding when to get the gutters cleaned. (Not a euphemism).
- Keep doing all of these things especially on the really, really shitty days when you only want to walk out the door or hide in your bed for the next year. Remember that you don’t have it all figured out, but so far this ship ain’t sinking, and that’s good enough.